Fog It!

A few years ago I was going through one of the worst times of my life. My blood pressure was up and my stress was out of control. The turning point of my recovery occurred when I made a new friend. Ben was wise and compassionate. He had been through difficult times before and he had helped many others get through difficult times as well.

When I needed to talk, Ben was there. Sometimes he even arrived unannounced to encourage me or give me a break. It was during one of those healing conversations that I told him about my exhaustion and the pain I felt from all the verbal assaults I was having to endure. I noticed that grin beginning to form behind his bushy beard. It was his signature grin that meant, “I can’t wait to see your reaction to the advice I’m about to give you.” As I prepared myself for the profound wisdom that was certainly on its way, I was surprised that he only said two words, “Fog it!”

His response snapped me out of my self-pity and ignited my curiosity. I asked what he meant and his explanation gave me a new, life-changing perspective. “If you are stiff and rigid like a pane of glass, you will shatter when people throw rocks at you. But if you are like fog, the rocks people throw just go right on through and fall to the ground without effecting you. Fog it!”

Several times over the next few weeks I would get upset or defensive and he would remind me, “Fog it!” Soon I was able to remind myself. Years later, people still say or do hurtful things from time to time, and Ben is no longer here to talk me through it. But I often think of him, take a deep breath, and “fog it.”

In a world full of glass, where people are constantly getting shattered and trying to shatter those around them, fog it! That does not mean that we no longer take a stand for truth and justice. It simply means that when attacked on a personal level, we have some say in how much damage that attack causes. In most cases, we can decide to let a personal attack sail on by without allowing it to break us into pieces. When someone is intentionally hurtful, unfair, or rude we get to decide how much their words will impact us. If the other person’s goal is to hurt me and I let myself break to pieces, they have been successful so they win. If, however, I choose not to let their words effect me, they fail and I win!

I have found great freedom and tremendous strength in that lesson from Ben so I wanted to share it with you. Friend, there are times when we need to just “Fog it!”