Friendship is Intentional

“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24

Friendship is one of God’s sweetest gifts, but Scripture reminds us that it is not automatic. Proverbs 18:24 draws an important distinction. It is possible to have many companions and still feel alone, yet one true friend can bring depth, safety, and strength to our lives. That kind of friendship doesn’t just happen. That kind of friendship is built.

We often wish for deeper friendships. We long for people who truly know us, who stay when life is heavy, who speak truth with love. But wisdom gently turns the question back toward us. Before asking “Why don’t I have that kind of friend?” we have to ask, “Am I being that kind of friend?” Ralph Waldo Emerson was right when he wrote, “The only way to have a friend is to be one.”

The Bible has much to say about building friendships. Proverbs 17:17 tells us, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” True friendship shows up consistently, not only when it’s convenient. Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 reminds us that friendship requires presence, being close enough to notice when someone falls and caring enough to help them back up. In the New Testament, Jesus raises the bar even higher. In John 15:13, He says, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” Friendship, at its best, is marked by sacrifice, choosing love, patience, and grace even when it costs us something. Romans 12:10 urges us to be intentional, “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” And 1 Thessalonians 5:11 calls us to, “Encourage one another and build one another up.” Notice the language, “build.”

Friendship grows when we invest in it. Proverbs 18:24 reminds us that while shallow connections may be many, deep friendship is rare and precious. It must be protected and nurtured over time. It does not survive on good intentions alone.

So rather than waiting for friendship to find you, go make a friend. Go first, show up, and love well. Real friendships are built by people who choose to be one.